I wasn’t planning on doing this one today – but then I went shopping.
You may recall the post of a week ago or so, in which I both admitted to having started running and – at great length – talked about how much I didn’t enjoy it. That hasn’t changed in the last week. In fact, in absence of the C25K goal, it seems to have become more difficult to keep going. What I need is a real, achievable goal to run towards (so to speak), or else I’ll grasp on to whatever flimsy excuse I need to convince myself that I don’t need to do it anymore.
This afternoon, The Boyfriend and I went shopping, mainly just so I could get a new sweater – the old one had worn holes in the elbows, which is the curse of the teacher. We went to Uniqlo, found the sweaters, and thought that would be that. But then it occurred to me… I have pants that don’t quite fit right anymore. They sag and settle and feel generally uncomfortable. I know my belt needs some new holes, too.
Would it be possible…?
Long story short , I was actually able to buy pants. In a Japanese store. Pants that fit.
If I had been prepared properly, there would have been a cavalcade of shopping, but I restrained myself. A pair of jeans, a couple of cardigans, and a new coat that I can actually button, if I so choose. When I came home and tried them on, The Boyfriend was taken aback by the difference. As it turns out, wearing clothes that actually fit make you look better. This was something I had long grown used to not thinking about.
Point is, I’m within a week or so of having dropped ten kilograms, and it’s showing up. For the first time in a very long time, I’ll have options open to me that could amount to more than jeans and a t-shirt. It’ll be quite the adjustment, and I’m not ready to commit to actual money yet – Uniqlo has the benefit of being very, shall we say, affordable. But perhaps one day I’ll be able to look at clothes that I like and not think, “That’ll never work.”
Of course, at 4:30 in the morning, as I round the corner into the first kilometer or so, that’s a pretty abstract thought to keep me going. But I can at least add to that thought the knowledge of how I’ve gotten here. This persistence – something I’ve never been able to keep hold of – has brought me this far. Perhaps it can see me further.
 Too late.